YES ... IT'S COMPLICATED ( coz u made it )

It’s we who make our life complicated. It’s we who make the life abstruse. Ambitions, success, failures are all trap and we get trapped  in them from head to toe. If we want  to be happy , then all we need to  do is introspection . We actually need to see what make us happy.

For some happiness is found in the work they do , others find it in social networking , entertainment through media . Some find that happiness in luxury item and some even find their share of happiness in making others happy . So find out yours.

My experience with life has been as banal as yours. Yes , still searching for that eternal peace of mind .Did lot of introspection …. dipped myself  thoroughly in my inner self and realized that being happy is the  easiest thing in this world . All we need to do is to be “EASY IN OUR THINKING” . We need to lay emphasis on simplicity . Now by simplicity ,I really didn’t mean that you stop being a diva , stop wearing stylish clothes ,stop being sophisticated , stop using the trendy gadgets that make life simple . A strict  No No.. to these thoughts , if they are flooding through your mind . What I mean  by simplicity is “simplicity in your  thoughts “. Stop flaunting !! Stop being pretentious!!  . You are answerable to none other than yourself.

Believe me .. if you win yourself .. you will relish the life in a complacent manner  . If  you promise yourself and cannot stick to it then  compunction will eat you from within .We really never need to have competitors .. as we have ourselves to compete . A race against ourselves is all we need to work on .And before applying this golden rule , stop yourself from being cynic because ray of hope is all that we need.

Another secret of happiness that I got to know through the introspection is that no matter how big our friend-circle is . No matter how supportive our family members are.NEVER HOLD EXPECTATIONS FROM ANYONE. You have come alone in this world . You will have to leave this world all alone  . Spend good time with everyone and help anyone and everyone who needs it  . Acquire the power and potential so that you are in the state of helping rather than being helped.

The other dimension which I want to pen down is that we get hurt when others hurt us . But is it others who are hurting us ? No. It’s we who get hurt because, it’s we who have given them the right to do so .. We meet so many people in our life , but not everyone gets close to us . We need to be really open with our minds and hearts to welcome anyone and everyone to enter our lives and similarly we need to have the open state of mind and heart when they hurt us . We should allow them to leave us when and where they want because relationships are like sand in hand . The firmer you make your grip to hold them ( the more we try to make them our own ) the more it passes away and we lose them . If someday in future , those gems of your life wish to come back to you .. welcome them as before . I may be sounding a bit philosophical and saintly figure while I am saying these lines but I woo these golden rules if implemented will gift you the eternal peace for which you have been longing so far. 

ELNATHAN DAYS ( TRAGIC BUT SWEET)

कॉलेज हुआ  ख़तम  , तोह  हुई  ये  कहानी  शुरू ..
किसे  पता  था  की  हम  बन्ने  वाले  हैं  बेरोजगारी  के  गुरु  ..

यूं  तोह  होशियार  बच्चो  में  , अपना  भी  नाम  था ..
परर  यारो  वो  placement  भी  निकला  न  कुछ   काम  का  ..

वो  भी  क्या  दिन  थे , जब  3rd year में  ही  सत्यम  ने  अपनाया ..
और  4th year में  आते   आते   , उसने   घोटाला  भी  कर  डाला

वाह  रे  वाह  राजू , तुझे  भी  यही  वक़्त  मिला  था  ??
दो  – तीन  साल  और  रुक  जाता  , घपला  करने  का  ऐसा    भी  क्या  उत्साह  था  ?

चलो  जाने  दो  ये  सब  , ये  बातें  अब    पुरानी    हुई ..
इस  सब  के  लिए  तोह   responsible  थी    , बस    टाइम  की  वो  सुई  ..

हमने  तोह  सोचा  था  , लाइफ  की  हुई  tragedy  अब  बंद  ..
पर  क्या  पता  था  की  God  ने  दिखाना   है   अभी  कुछ  और  stunt ..

सुबह  सुबह  आई  एक  कंपनी  से  call ,
बोले  –“ आप  हो  रहे  हैं  , हमारे  criteria में  fall “ !

खड़े  खड़े  वहीँ  , technical और  HR ले  लिया  ,
2 दिन  बाद  call  पर  “congrats “ कह  ,select भी   कर  लिया  !!


बहुत  सोच  – विचार  कर  , मैंने  करा  उसे   join  ,
सोचा  नौकरी  मिली  है  , अब  हाथ  में  आयेंगे  कुछ  coin .

सुना  था  शॉर्टकट  देता  है  नुक्सान ,
ये  रास्ता  भी  जितना  दिख  रहा  था  , उतना  नहीं  था  आसान  !!

दो  महीने  तोह  ट्रेनिंग  के  नाम  पे  निकल  गये  ,
उसके  बाद  जो  मजाक  हुआ  , उससे  सबके  होश  उड़  गए  !!

CEO था  जो  company का  , खुद  हमसे  meeting करने  आया ,
बोला  – “देखो  patience चाहिए , अभी  अभी   IT market का  हुआ   है  दिवाला  !!

कुछ  दिनों  में  ही  project आयेगा  , फिर  न  मिलेगा  तुम्हे  वक़्त  ,
Talented लोग  ही  रहेंगे   organisation में , बाकी  की  नौकरी  होगी  रद्द  !!

बड़ी  बड़ी  बातें  करता  था  वो  , सब   होते  थे  हैरान  ,
सपने  में  भी  न   सोचा  था   , निकलेगा  वो  ही   सबसे  बड़ा  शैतान  !!

पांच   – पांच  महीने  तक  न  मिली  हमे पगार
तब  कुछ  कुछ  समझ  आने  लगा  हमे  उसका  ये  व्यापार  !!

Bond money के  नाम  पे  ले  लिए  पैसे  सबसे  ,
सैलरी  के  इंतज़ार  में  सब  रह  गए  तरसते  !!

कुछ  लोगो  ने  आन्दोलन  के  लिए  आवाज़  उठायी  ,
पर  बाकी  लोगो  ने  अपनी  झूटी  आशा   से  , वो  आवाज़  दफनाई  !!

फिर  एक  दिन  ऐसा  भी  आया  , जब  सब  सच  था  सबके  सामने  ,
वो  जगह  , जिससे  कहते  थे  office , खाली  होने  लगा  अचानक  से   ,

ये  सारा  किस्सा  सुनने  में  तोह  लग  रहा  होगा   रोमांचाक ,
पर  कितना  tragic था ये   सब  , वाहा  होते  तोह  समझते   ये  सच !!

इस  बड़े  से  मज़ाक  में  , बस  एक  ही  सच  सुहाना  था ..
शायद  , कुछ  अच्छे   से  लोगो  को  एक  दुसरे  से  GOD  को  मिलवाना  था ..

वहां  ऐसे  दोस्त  बन  गए  , जो  “FRIENDS FOREVER” बन  गए  ,
दूर  भले  ही  है  आज  , पर एक  नया  connection जोड़  चले  !!

BYEE !! BYEE!!

Tick tick as I hear the clock moving, it seems as if the time is running a race against itself, something touching my heart beats and some unknown fear is surrounding me .The day is here, when I’ll have to again leave my parents, my sweet home and go to the state where neither my culture nor my people are there.  The jovial me is lost in some deep thoughts .Some unknown sadness has started making place within me. Ohh ..it’s just 11 pm , I need to sleep , so as to wake up early and board the train , but it seems the mind is non –stop thinking and the sleep has lost somewhere .  I wish I could be boorish  with my mother , so that I could depart myself from the miseries of missing her , but that is something next to impossible . These thoughts are running in my mind and didn’t realise when I fell asleep amidst all this .

<woke up next morning >  Ohh .. noo.. the day is finally here , when I’ll have to pack my bags , and start the journey to my workplace . Osshhh .. a mistake , bags are already packed , they were packed yesterday by mom . She always complains for my habit of saying “NO “ to every eatable which she packs , with a reason  - “ It’s going to be too heavy , I’ll have to manage 3 bags already and if u add these eatables too , then the count of bags will be raised to 4” .Still she insists to make some place here and there and add some ladoos and almonds . For that is why, the mothers are called the angels on earth .As the moment to say bye is coming near, my heart is beating faster and faster. Again from tomorrow, there would be no angel around me . No one would pamper me all day long and off course none who would listen to all my stories, gossips (all with the centre element ‘I’).Thinking all this , I carry my laptop bag to the car , and as I sit , I realise the final moment is here . “Byee mom “- I said and the tears trickled down. I just ran out of the car and gave her a big hug .   “Ohh Gosh , we are late , make it fast “ said my dad . And as  usual I am late for the train , but my father knows how to handle this situation very  well , and like any movie hero , he ‘ll take  all shortcuts to reach just on time and as usual he know every little detail of the train like which platform, where the AC coach exactly stops etc etc . So,  we have reached the platform , and as my father and I are waiting for the train , I can see many other fathers , who have come to drop their daughters. Suddenly, those old memories of time  started coming to my head ;  when my father used to drop me to station almost in every 15 days as the college was near . I used to leave half of my things at home, thinking that even if required, dad would come to my college’s city . Yes , the situation of college days and today is so much similar ,  yet so different. Then I used to console my heart saying – it’s just 2 weeks and I’ll be back .. I didn’t realise how those college days turned to working days and the time gap increased from 2 weeks to 6 months  and while I am lost in  those thoughts of years , I suddenly hear the engine shunting and moving towards me . My  dad ( undoubtedly, the best dad in the world  ) is making all possible arrangements to comfort his little daughter ( though actually a grown young  girl ) who will always  be  a little princess to him no matter how old she grow . Saying byee to Mom was off course difficult but what is even more difficult is to say byee to Dad ,but I have to …though don’t want to , but still in a dissembling way I said  – “ Byee Daddy “ !

THE ALIVE SPIRIT

It isn't easy to stick a smile on a face ,
that too when I have come last in a race!!

Though I have everyone's sympathy ,
but none can understand the phase I am  going through !!

I'll win or not , the next race is still in question ,
but I'll attempt again is something , I need not to mention !!

It isn't easy to stick a smile on a face ,
that too when I have come last in a race!!


I don't want to be an epitome of patience for anyone ,
but I cannot afford the pleasure of "giving up"!!


There are many people who'll suggest me to move on ,
but belive me , its not something , that I had a crush on !!

It isn't easy to stick a smile on a face ,
that too when I have come last in a race!!

I don't say , I am nothing if I lose this  race ,
but yes ,that defeat will always be there somewhere on my face !!

It's easy to mold my path , and choose a different destination ,
but I'll lose myself forever , if I take  this decision in moment of tension !!


It isn't easy to stick a smile on a face ,
that too when I have come last in a race!!

------------------------------------------------------------(c) 10/1/2013

TEST OF LIFE

God I cannot find the way....
please show me the hope's ray  to hay ..

I am amidst of difficulties..
cannot find the way to come out of this mystery...

It's not that I have given up ...
but I need strength from you to continue..

Time seems to have come to a standstill..
don't know the tym when I'll be out of this miserable feel...

Is dreaming with open eyes a sin ?
I guess the patience in me has touched the brim..

God !! greatful to u  for my "never say die attitude"
but this situation seems to be a circle with no end

countless are the sacrifices I have , am and may give in future ..
but again the question stands .. will I be able to make my years long dream nurture ?

Standing at the place where present and future are entirely opposite..
One is my real world and the other is still a dream ..

The idea to choose one .. touched my intution ..
but conflict between practicality and dream doesn't let me reach the conclusion

still trying to balance present and future ..
and have no clue ..this is a right or wrong decision ..

Maybe I don't have that real gut power to leave the present and fall completely in love with the future plans
or maybe I am wise to implement the old saying "a bird in hand is better than two in bush "

Call it overambitious or call it a failure speaking ..
May b the hurdles are flowing some negative thoughts in me ..

but I promise u God , I'll fight back ..
all I want u to do is to give me strength to be on the right track..

IS THIS THE FOUR LETTER WORD ??

Didn't realize it .....till this very second...!!
ur words have the power to make me cry ..

have always saw u in jovial mood ..
and just felt ... ur possessiveness in those words of pry ..


Is this something new that has happened to me today ?
or is it some old omen , which I noticed at this moment !!


Never did I felt this concern before ..
was I blind to notice it ?? or ur care was too  much to be controlled !!

The more I think , I know u , the more I learn the unknown u ..
am I making u fall or in turn I am falling for u ??


I know I have the power to make u fall ,
but I'll love to see u rise for me !!

I can't promise , if I'll be always there with you ..
but yes the spirit will bind us ever and ever


Oh no... how can I fall prey to this so called love ?
I cannot trust someone and give him the right to take away my nerve !!

I can't ....I can't ....fall for u ..
something from within is trying harder and harder to make all this true !!